You LOVE giving your mama kisses. It's the sweetest thing ever ever ever. Tonight you were taking turns crawling from me to your grandma giving us kisses in between. You also love to feed people, and animals for that matter. You kept feeding Waffles (the dog) your food. Although, you would only give him a lick not the whole thing.
I love, when you're sleeping I sometimes lie next to you head to head and remember when you were in my stomach. I loved having you grow inside me, singing you songs, and wondering what you'd be like. Taking our prenatal yoga classes together. My meditations were always so beautiful with you there. Having you now is such a blessing. Every day's a new exciting experience. I LOVE YOU!!!!!
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Strength
God give me the strength to embark on this huge change in our lives. I'm determined to give Zaidan the best life possible. I know I can.
Today was hard, I found out alot of unsettling things.
I'm so better off. This is a blessing in disguise.
Today was hard, I found out alot of unsettling things.
I'm so better off. This is a blessing in disguise.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
A nice tantra poem
Woman is the creator of the universe,
the universe is her form;
woman is the foundation of the world,
she is the true form of the body.
In woman is the form of all things,
of all that lives and moves in the world.
There is no jewel rarer than woman,
no condition superior to that of a woman
the universe is her form;
woman is the foundation of the world,
she is the true form of the body.
In woman is the form of all things,
of all that lives and moves in the world.
There is no jewel rarer than woman,
no condition superior to that of a woman
Day 2
Day 2 no calls no regards no sympathy from him. Nothing.
We're doing it together Z. I do everything for you. I'm trying so hard to stay strong. I'm only human though. These days are sad and you can sense it. It was heartbreaking to see you the first day. So confused so upset. We're doing better. I love you, Z.
We're doing it together Z. I do everything for you. I'm trying so hard to stay strong. I'm only human though. These days are sad and you can sense it. It was heartbreaking to see you the first day. So confused so upset. We're doing better. I love you, Z.
Friday, November 2, 2007
Big Boy
Today we were at the park and you did a great example of problem solving! You saw a small hill that went down to the rocks; you stopped and turned yourself around and crawled backwards! I've been teaching you this on the bed but I've never seen you do the crawl around all by yourself! You safely landed in the rocks and began to play in the rocks (your favorite thing next to sand, drums, and anything musical).
BTW, my new nickname lately for you is Tutti Bello. I decided to find out what exactly I am calling you...
Tutti is an Italian word literally meaning all or together. It also is a musical term that refers to when the orchestra continues to play after a solo.
Bello means attractive.
So your nickname basically means all together attractive ;-) So true so true.
We're at grandma's now taking it easy. You're sleeping so soundly and I'm already missing you, loving you every minute of our days. Sleep tight sunshine.
BTW, my new nickname lately for you is Tutti Bello. I decided to find out what exactly I am calling you...
Tutti is an Italian word literally meaning all or together. It also is a musical term that refers to when the orchestra continues to play after a solo.
Bello means attractive.
So your nickname basically means all together attractive ;-) So true so true.
We're at grandma's now taking it easy. You're sleeping so soundly and I'm already missing you, loving you every minute of our days. Sleep tight sunshine.
Journal from California Workshop
First thanks to the mamas who send their warm regards. That's so sweet of you. I'm embracing my inner Shakti and beautiful goddess, and will not let this selfish act ruin my life.
Anyways, here is something I wrote while in CA during the workshop as part of a short assignment. It's all about you Z.
Your fertility and what you’re planning to conceive:
My fertility is abundant and surprising. It’s heart is open and hopes to conceive again in the far future.
For now I am planning to conceive the best life for my baby Zaidan.
I want to show him a beautiful world where peace is evident. Where he can love and be loved. He is my conception and I’m here to bring the best life possible to him. He is my joy, my honor. He makes me a better person.
Fertility unknown
In Himalayas untouched
Your womb is ready your heart is open
Run with the wind
It will show you the way
Don’t be scarred
You won’t be let down
Life is peace
And inside you it grows
Anyways, here is something I wrote while in CA during the workshop as part of a short assignment. It's all about you Z.
Your fertility and what you’re planning to conceive:
My fertility is abundant and surprising. It’s heart is open and hopes to conceive again in the far future.
For now I am planning to conceive the best life for my baby Zaidan.
I want to show him a beautiful world where peace is evident. Where he can love and be loved. He is my conception and I’m here to bring the best life possible to him. He is my joy, my honor. He makes me a better person.
Fertility unknown
In Himalayas untouched
Your womb is ready your heart is open
Run with the wind
It will show you the way
Don’t be scarred
You won’t be let down
Life is peace
And inside you it grows
Thursday, November 1, 2007
First Day of Our New Life
Last night I came home from trick or treating with Zaidan - the cutest little pumpkin you ever did see. I came home to all of Mostafa's stuff gone. Yes we've had our problems, and this is all probably inevitable; but to just pick up and leave without even saying goodbye to your son is cruel and hurts me. I don't know if he ever really could be a family guy. He's 37 yrs old and will not settle.
I'm so lucky to have you Zaidan. You woke me up with a million kisses this morning as if you knew mommy needed extra love. Last night was hard we both cried. I'm sorry Zaidan you had to see me like that. We are all human. I promise to be strong for you. I will be everything for you and give you all the love you need. I LOVE YOU ZAIDAN@
I'm so lucky to have you Zaidan. You woke me up with a million kisses this morning as if you knew mommy needed extra love. Last night was hard we both cried. I'm sorry Zaidan you had to see me like that. We are all human. I promise to be strong for you. I will be everything for you and give you all the love you need. I LOVE YOU ZAIDAN@
Saturday, October 27, 2007
A season of firsts
Dear Zaidan, yesterday on October 26 you cut your very first tooth. It's still growing and getting bigger, but you are officially on your way to having a tooth filled smile!!
This morning you made us all so excited by clapping and you are clapping like there's no tomorrow! Now we look forward to seeing your baby signs.
Well we're off to your very first trance dance with Govindas and Shiva Rea. I think you will love this because your favorite thing to do is play drums, maraccas, and rhythm sticks.
OK, off we go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This morning you made us all so excited by clapping and you are clapping like there's no tomorrow! Now we look forward to seeing your baby signs.
Well we're off to your very first trance dance with Govindas and Shiva Rea. I think you will love this because your favorite thing to do is play drums, maraccas, and rhythm sticks.
OK, off we go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
California Inferno and Hello Shakti
Well we arrived in California on Tuesday. You were great on the airplane! You were a bit squirmish and excited by the new environment. But right after takeoff you nursed and went straight to sleep for 2 hours. You woke up and had a playdate with a cute 10 month old baby in the back of the plane. Your dad has been a tremendous help on this trip and i"m really lucky he's come along and postponed his trip to Jordan.
Yesterday we walked about 6 miles switching off wearing you since we did not bring a stroller, and let me tell you; YOU ARE A BIG HEAVY BOY!!!
We walked along the Venice Canals. We walked along the boardwalk and took you to the playground and to the beach to play futbol in the sand with daddy. You love your futbol! You were one dirty sandy boy!
You've been sleeping great here. I know having our wraps and sheets from home helps with this.
I started my training to day with Shiva Rea. She is a goddess and so beautiful and already this is a life changing experience. I'm so happy I came here to do this. It's unlike any yoga class I"ve ever taken before! Today we started with sojme chanting and then yoga trance dance. It was great.
Your dad is taking such good care of you and you guys are going to have so much fun at the beach! I love you both so much!
Oh btw, the whole of southern california is on fire and there is lots of smoke in the air; but we're keeping you safe and praying for those affected by this.
Salaam.
Yesterday we walked about 6 miles switching off wearing you since we did not bring a stroller, and let me tell you; YOU ARE A BIG HEAVY BOY!!!
We walked along the Venice Canals. We walked along the boardwalk and took you to the playground and to the beach to play futbol in the sand with daddy. You love your futbol! You were one dirty sandy boy!
You've been sleeping great here. I know having our wraps and sheets from home helps with this.
I started my training to day with Shiva Rea. She is a goddess and so beautiful and already this is a life changing experience. I'm so happy I came here to do this. It's unlike any yoga class I"ve ever taken before! Today we started with sojme chanting and then yoga trance dance. It was great.
Your dad is taking such good care of you and you guys are going to have so much fun at the beach! I love you both so much!
Oh btw, the whole of southern california is on fire and there is lots of smoke in the air; but we're keeping you safe and praying for those affected by this.
Salaam.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Memory Lane
Some photos of your dad's childhood. Most of his childhood photos were burned in a fire :-( Here's a look at your dad long ago - you do look like him as a baby :-)
Sunday, September 30, 2007
So many new wonders
Today you had a special boys day out with your papa! He took you to the sprinkler park for the very first time and you were in heaven!! You were the only crawler there and you were crawling through those fountains like you were in water training! We plan to take you back this week.
I also bought you your first container of bubbles. Now, mommy has a sort of affinity towards bubbles having done a video project in NYC comparing internet communication with bubble communication by blowing bubbles from a window in the East Village. It was most amusing and profound. Nevertheless, we love bubbles and now so do you!!! You are very perplexed by the bubbles and breathe very deeply when you see them. So far I'd say you are in awe of these miraculous bubbles coming from the magic wand!
Last night we went to Central Market to listen to your favorite genre of music - Indian music. Luckily it's mommy and daddy's favorite too. I've managed to teach you some of my Balinese dance arm movements. Now when we play you music you move your arms in waving motion. Your first dance move!!!!! Hoorah!
I also bought you your first container of bubbles. Now, mommy has a sort of affinity towards bubbles having done a video project in NYC comparing internet communication with bubble communication by blowing bubbles from a window in the East Village. It was most amusing and profound. Nevertheless, we love bubbles and now so do you!!! You are very perplexed by the bubbles and breathe very deeply when you see them. So far I'd say you are in awe of these miraculous bubbles coming from the magic wand!
Last night we went to Central Market to listen to your favorite genre of music - Indian music. Luckily it's mommy and daddy's favorite too. I've managed to teach you some of my Balinese dance arm movements. Now when we play you music you move your arms in waving motion. Your first dance move!!!!! Hoorah!
Saturday, September 29, 2007
How Chanting Got the Babe to Sleep
Lately it seems me chanting "Ong, namo, gudu dev, namo" gets you to sleep pretty easily during the day. At night it's usually a mix between chanting, singing, wrapping, nursing, wrapping again, then finally nursing - and your asleep! Seems a bit much as I reread it, but I can't let you cry it out. I guess I take the AP thing to heart when it comes to sleep.
We have also almost won our first battle with a rash. We did a combination of: oatmeal baths, burts bees resq ointment, ed's natural salve, calendula diaper cream, and my favorite;-) letting you crawl around naked alot.
We are planning our first big trip to California. You and daddy get to hang out in Venice Beach on the boardwalk with all the cool artists and musclemen while mommy does her pre/postnatal yoga training. That's right, I'm doing something for mommy!! The schedule is actually very accomadating to us and I'll be back in time for nursing and all bedtimes! I can't wait to go shopping and get a good haircut (I'm just not feeling the love for Texas stylists and wish I could fly to NYC every time i need a cut!)
You are talking alot now!! You love your puppet shows. You are one fast crawler! The other day at our baby weights workout class you attacked two little girls with your funny open mouth kisses. They did not enjoy it as much as you did.
Tomorrow we are going to the water park, and later in the week it's off to grandma's for her birthday!
We have also almost won our first battle with a rash. We did a combination of: oatmeal baths, burts bees resq ointment, ed's natural salve, calendula diaper cream, and my favorite;-) letting you crawl around naked alot.
We are planning our first big trip to California. You and daddy get to hang out in Venice Beach on the boardwalk with all the cool artists and musclemen while mommy does her pre/postnatal yoga training. That's right, I'm doing something for mommy!! The schedule is actually very accomadating to us and I'll be back in time for nursing and all bedtimes! I can't wait to go shopping and get a good haircut (I'm just not feeling the love for Texas stylists and wish I could fly to NYC every time i need a cut!)
You are talking alot now!! You love your puppet shows. You are one fast crawler! The other day at our baby weights workout class you attacked two little girls with your funny open mouth kisses. They did not enjoy it as much as you did.
Tomorrow we are going to the water park, and later in the week it's off to grandma's for her birthday!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
My Dear Big Boy
Mommy is so tired these days i"m sorry for not writing. We have been very busy the past few days. We had a playdate with all of your friends on Friday. I've also been taking you to the playground alot. You love exploring there. So far Shipe is our favorite bcs it has lots of soft ground to crawl on. I plan to take you to the Barton Springs playground soon to explore since we haven't been there since you were 6 months.
Also, this week we are going to the new water park on town lake to explore!
You love to pull yourself up on all of the furniture. You really want to walk, but are content hanging on the furniture :-)
You also love exploring outside touching the leaves and the flowers, shaking the tree branches. You understand me pretty well when I say "No eat leaves" so that's good.
Today mommy started rollerblading in her quest to work off the baby weight. It was so fun, and you loved how fast the stroller went with me on wheels.
Tomorrow we go to yoga class. I'm so happy to get to a yoga class!!!
You're sleeping soundly and I already miss you. Night night.
Also, this week we are going to the new water park on town lake to explore!
You love to pull yourself up on all of the furniture. You really want to walk, but are content hanging on the furniture :-)
You also love exploring outside touching the leaves and the flowers, shaking the tree branches. You understand me pretty well when I say "No eat leaves" so that's good.
Today mommy started rollerblading in her quest to work off the baby weight. It was so fun, and you loved how fast the stroller went with me on wheels.
Tomorrow we go to yoga class. I'm so happy to get to a yoga class!!!
You're sleeping soundly and I already miss you. Night night.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Long Time No Write - So much to say!!
Well Zaidan, I'm sorry for not writing in so long. Daddy's been in town and I've been enjoying my free time while you and daddy get reaquainted. You sure do love playing with him! He makes you laugh SOOOO much. He loves wearing you in the wrap and taking you to the coffee shop to hang out and have boys time.
You started crawling full fledge while daddy was here. And you also started pulling yourself up onto all the furniture! We completely rearranged the living room and went to Ikea to organize the house even more. You really want to walk I can tell :-)
You love blowing raspberry noises all the time. You simply love grandma's silly dog Waffles. You don't like when mommy leaves the room. And your teething again, though it subsided today so I don't know maybe you'll be like your mama and not get your first tooth till 1 year!...
Daddy left a couple of days ago for Washington; and you and I packed up the car and went to grandmas where you love to swim and play with your aunties and uncles all day. It's much different than being at home!
Baba is climbing Mt Baker while in Washington, and I hope when he comes back I can convince him to move to Washington! I really want to move somewhere different - either NYC (that's probably most unrealistic), Washington, or Florida. I'd rather be up north though with the 4 seasons. I miss the snow and want to build snow men and angels with you soon!
Right now we're planning our trip to Florida to see Grandpa Riley. That means you get to go to your favorite place (so far) in the world - THE BEACH!!
I'll post new photos soon of you in your Scotland Rangers Football uni. You'll make daddy's friends so proud!!!
I love you my sleeping baby!
You started crawling full fledge while daddy was here. And you also started pulling yourself up onto all the furniture! We completely rearranged the living room and went to Ikea to organize the house even more. You really want to walk I can tell :-)
You love blowing raspberry noises all the time. You simply love grandma's silly dog Waffles. You don't like when mommy leaves the room. And your teething again, though it subsided today so I don't know maybe you'll be like your mama and not get your first tooth till 1 year!...
Daddy left a couple of days ago for Washington; and you and I packed up the car and went to grandmas where you love to swim and play with your aunties and uncles all day. It's much different than being at home!
Baba is climbing Mt Baker while in Washington, and I hope when he comes back I can convince him to move to Washington! I really want to move somewhere different - either NYC (that's probably most unrealistic), Washington, or Florida. I'd rather be up north though with the 4 seasons. I miss the snow and want to build snow men and angels with you soon!
Right now we're planning our trip to Florida to see Grandpa Riley. That means you get to go to your favorite place (so far) in the world - THE BEACH!!
I'll post new photos soon of you in your Scotland Rangers Football uni. You'll make daddy's friends so proud!!!
I love you my sleeping baby!
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Daddy's back and Mama Slept!!!!!
Well, your papa came home last night on an airplane from London, England. We went to pick him up at 7:30 pm, and you were not very happy on the way back :-( You're Auntie Zoe shushed you to sleep after a long bout of crying. You woke us up at 6:30am this morning giggleing, cooing, and climbing all over us - I guess you wanted to show your daddy your new mountain climbing skills!
You papa brought us back amazing gifts from around the world!! You have a whole new wardrope, lots of Arabic books and cds, wooden toys, African baby carriers (kangas) and more!!
Here is the website to the wooden toy shop in Edinburgh that your daddy bought your airplane from www.pinocchiotoys.co.uk
You're so happy to be reunited with your papa. You two boys let mommy take a 3 hour nap and I feel like a new woman!@@!!! It's so nice to have our family back together and for mommy's arms to finally rest a little. We love you so much!!
You papa brought us back amazing gifts from around the world!! You have a whole new wardrope, lots of Arabic books and cds, wooden toys, African baby carriers (kangas) and more!!
Here is the website to the wooden toy shop in Edinburgh that your daddy bought your airplane from www.pinocchiotoys.co.uk
You're so happy to be reunited with your papa. You two boys let mommy take a 3 hour nap and I feel like a new woman!@@!!! It's so nice to have our family back together and for mommy's arms to finally rest a little. We love you so much!!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Working on Your Christmas List
OK family, I've started our Christmas list :-) Never too early!
Click on the links below
Fun activity center!
MIRROR!
Armadillo CAR!
CARS!!
blocks!
Click on the links below
Fun activity center!
MIRROR!
Armadillo CAR!
CARS!!
blocks!
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Child's (baby's) pose
You are sleeping so soundly in a modified version of child's pose. I was just staring at your tiny feet, which have gotten so much bigger but are still so tiny and will only be so tiny for a little longer. Tonight it was harder getting you to sleep - you were fighting the sleep. But finally after wrapping and nursing and back to wrapping again...and then nursing again... and again and so forth; you fell asleep into your baby dreamland.
Your papa is in Scotland now. Today we went swimming with your baby friends and then we got the rest of your cloth diapers! Finally we are a very eco-conscious family and I don't feel guilty every time I change your diapers!!
You now love your blocks and watching mama stack them up into towers and then knock them down. You were laughing in hysterics like I've never seen you laugh! Tomorrow I'm taking you to our local wooden toymaker and you can pick out one toy! Lucky boy! AND your daddy is bringing you back a whole duffle bag of gifts from Africa, Jordan, England, and Scotland! I hear there's a harmonica amongst many other fun treasures!!
Alright my sleeping boy. I can't wait to see you soon. You are my joy. Good night.
Your papa is in Scotland now. Today we went swimming with your baby friends and then we got the rest of your cloth diapers! Finally we are a very eco-conscious family and I don't feel guilty every time I change your diapers!!
You now love your blocks and watching mama stack them up into towers and then knock them down. You were laughing in hysterics like I've never seen you laugh! Tomorrow I'm taking you to our local wooden toymaker and you can pick out one toy! Lucky boy! AND your daddy is bringing you back a whole duffle bag of gifts from Africa, Jordan, England, and Scotland! I hear there's a harmonica amongst many other fun treasures!!
Alright my sleeping boy. I can't wait to see you soon. You are my joy. Good night.
Monday, August 20, 2007
New Photos Are In
The ultimate beach baby
Here you are with your best baby friends:
Addeline, Owen, Oliver, Zaidan, Hollis, and Henry
Here you are with your best baby friends:
Addeline, Owen, Oliver, Zaidan, Hollis, and Henry
FYI
Some of your knicknames that are sweet now, but later in life you may be embarrassed:
Zeezu, Zuzu, Mr. Furly, Teetu, habibi, Monkey, Pumpking Pie
When I wear you in one of our carriers I always ask you if you want to get back in mommy's belly.
When daddy calls to talk on the phone you clam up and just smile at the phone.
When you hurt yourself, as long as I put your head to my heart, you feel better and stop crying.
I miss you when you're sleeping. Your my little buddy, my joy, a wondrous miracle. I"m so lucky to have you in my life Zaidan. Your mommy and daddy love you so much!
Zeezu, Zuzu, Mr. Furly, Teetu, habibi, Monkey, Pumpking Pie
When I wear you in one of our carriers I always ask you if you want to get back in mommy's belly.
When daddy calls to talk on the phone you clam up and just smile at the phone.
When you hurt yourself, as long as I put your head to my heart, you feel better and stop crying.
I miss you when you're sleeping. Your my little buddy, my joy, a wondrous miracle. I"m so lucky to have you in my life Zaidan. Your mommy and daddy love you so much!
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